Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Just Look How Far We've Come! (Then again, maybe it isn't so great...)

As you all know, I'm a substitute teacher at my local high school. Maybe this is why I love this so much. Seriously. It says a lot about where we are as a society on so many levels, that I just had to share it. (If any of you have seen it already, sorry for the repeat).

(And I have no idea who gets the credit for it. So whoever you are, forgive me).

SCHOOL--1958 vs. 2008

Jack goes quail hunting before school,
pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1958 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2008 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselor called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1958 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2008 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it

Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1958 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2008 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car
and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt

1958 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school

1958 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.

2008 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Pedro fails high school English

1958 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,
puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed

1958 - Ants die.

2008- BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated,
Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.
He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him

1958 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Enough said.


Machen family said...

So true, so true...except the last part about the female teacher, seems to me that the trend is lonely female teachers unable to snatch males their own age, seduce horney pre-teens willing to do anything to take a look at any pair of knockers, and then they run away while in hot pursuit by the feds.

Annie Valentine said...

Is this a precursor to the paper?

Kellie said...

wow! I hadn't seen that before and while it's funny, it's sadly true.

Barbaloot said...

I hate how true that is.

Natalie said...

Yep, Chelsea emailed me this too and it's hilariously true.

Kelly said...

So sad, but so true. This is why I ignore the world to the best of my ability and live on watching "Leave it to Beaver" reruns.

Rachel said...

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE this! My FIL read it to us one night. Just testimony to how LAME we are now.

Boy Mom said...

Funny if it wasn't so true.

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

It's so true. Our obsessively enlightened and politically correct society has become too ridiculous for comfort. I don't know about Utah but in our neck of the woods schools can't give sick kids aspirin but can take them to a clinic for an abortion without parents' knowledge and consent. How twisted is that?