For My Facebook Friends

I'm really tired, and practically falling asleep, but I'm going to attempt to come up with twenty-five random things about myself so I can appease all the frantic facebookers who keep sending me this tag.

1. I'm really tired, and practically falling asleep.

2. Frantic facebookers keep tagging me. Apparently they're dying to know all about my randomness. (How am I doing guys? Is this okay so far? Just checking...)

3. I can be very random. Unfortunately, this isn't one of my random moments, but cut me some slack, at least I'm trying.

4. Oh, I know - I got to spend an hour with 48 seventh and eighth grade band members today.

5. When they left, they were replaced by 56 sixth graders.

6. For some unknown reason, both my patience AND sanity are gone. Wonder what could have caused that...Hmmm....

7. Everyone reading this is now glad they don't have my job.

8. I don't like food that shouldn't be sweet to be sweet. Like sweet BBQ burritos. Or sweet salad dressing. Or sweet spaghetti, or baked beans.

9. I do, however, like chicken hearts.

10. I really want to try a sardine, but can't ever make myself. Why is that?

11. Whenever I make any kind of list about myself, it always goes back to food. What does that say about me?

12. Speaking of food, I worship buffets. No decisions, and all-you-can-eat dessert. What more could a person ask for?

13. I almost died once. (I know, old news. But still - I did. And it was random).

14. I love driving tractors. Give me a tractor and a manure pit to scrape, and I'll be happy for hours.

15. I fell in a manure pit once.

16. My manure pit story would make a great blog post.

17. I'd love to be a car salesman (Okay, saleswoman - whatever), and totally plan on doing this at some point.

18. I hate to dust (but unfortunately still plan on doing this at some point).

19. The key words in number 18, are "at some point."

20. I thrive under pressure. Unless it involves more than 45 middle schoolers in a room with nothing to do. "Seethe" is a much better word for this situation.

21. I actually have the ability to scare sixth graders into silence. This is a very marketable skill.

22. I think the market for people willing and able to scare sixth graders into silence should be just a little higher paying...

23. This list is taking me a ridiculously long period of time.

24. I can't wear watches, because after a few weeks the batteries always stop. Is that weird?

25. I'm going to bed.

Ten Jen Quirks

1. I like to burst into song (usually some old, unheard of song) at the slightest provocation. Like the word "If". Or the word "when". Any old word will do, I have a song for most of them.

2. Spontaneous dancing is also possible. Mostly, I prefer the lame-o moves from dance class when I was 11. I suggest doing this in front of your children a lot if you are worried they might think you are too cool. Their response will assure you, you have NOTHING to worry about.

3. I enjoy eating in restaurants. Alone. Ideally with a book so people aren't quite as aware that I am eavesdropping on their conversations.

4. Apparently eavesdropping is one of my quirks. Pseudo-reading so I can listen to the high schoolers' hilarious/sometimes pathetic conversations is also a favorite past time. (I'm a substitute high school teacher).

5. People always accuse me of eating weird things. Like refried beans on a toasted bagel. It's good people! And chicken hearts. Boil them with an entire sweet onion (cut into big chunks) for about two hours - delicious. I really don't care if I can see the ventricles. It's all about taste, baby.

6. As my dear sister Annie has already mentioned (it's a favorite theme of hers), I can be a little fanatical about certain things. Like unpopped kernels in my microwave popcorn. And leftover hair in hairbrushes. And people taking proper care of boardgames. I love how this makes me sound a little OCD. This is soooo not the case, and people who know me are probably laughing right now at the mere possibility that anyone would ever think I was.

7. I have some weird ideas about food. Like, it's better to eat an entire box of chocolates in one sitting (even if it has multiple layers) than over a period of days (or weeks), because there's no way your body can possibly absorb all that fat at once anyway. Most of it is bound to move right through. It's alright to take a few short breaks, however, as long as you get right back to the chocolate.

8. Thanks to a brief period of my life when the only available channel was the outdoor channel (my husband LOVED this), I can tell you all about turkey calls.

9. I love to drive tractors. Especially if it means doing something fun, like spreading manure around.

10. I think cow manure (the kind dotting a field and slowly drying in the sun, not so much large collections of sloppy pee-poo) smells kind of good. When I was in college, this smell was one of my favorite things about coming home in the spring.

Thanks McFarland, for the tag. I tag Natalie, Kristen, and Laura. Ten quirks about you, Ladies!

Tagged!

Okay, okay. Kristen tagged me a while ago, and I'm finally going to make an attempt. It may not be thrilling, but at least I'm getting it done, right???

THREE JOYS
1. My kids. Although not at the moment. When it's 10:30 at night and they still aren't sleeping (great, now someone is crying) there's really nothing joyful about it. But...there are those other moments - like when they are sleeping. Those are joyful.

2. My husband. I know,I know, this is totally cliche, but it really is true. I really do like the guy. He's leaving for a solo week-long hunting trip tomorrow, and having him gone will be the opposite of joyful. Sometimes I wish he was into golf. It's so much safer.

3. This is not breaking news. My third joy is food. Cake, donuts, CHEESECAKE, pie, CHOCOLATE, unexpected treats, and buffets. Actually, buffets could just be my number three. I LOVE BUFFETS! All you can eat baby - especially if it's a pizza buffet. Now that is pure joy.


THREE FEARS
1. Getting pregnant. Been there, done that, SOOOOO over it! I love my children, I did not love being pregnant. There are women I know who act like it is a crime for me to say such things. How dare I blaspheme and denounce the aches, pains, and body distortions of growing a child. It was totally worth it, but does that mean I should have love, love, loved it? Isn't endurance enough??? Anyhow, pregnancy is definitely a fear. Definitely.

2. Think, think, think. (I am thinking, I'm not saying I'm afraid of thinking. Although my thinking may be scary to someone else, I'm actually quite comfortable with it). My second fear would have to be...Oh, I know! Being stuck in this house forever! Petrifying, that one. It would be like a slow, painful death - six people, one bathroom FOREVER!!! (Now is where you insert the Psycho music - you know, from the shower scene? EEEE, EEEE, EEEE - but you picture me trying to shower while five other people beat on the door because they all need to have BM's simultaneously. And one of them is only two, and she WILL go in her pants). I may have nightmares tonight. Thanks Kristen.

3. My last fear would have to be...Ooooo, this one is really current. My husband getting eaten by a bear, or falling over a cliff while solo-hunting out in no-man's-land. He doesn't even bring a tent. He carries his "poncho" and crashes out in the middle of the woods somewhere. Why??? because he hunts so far from his car (let alone a campground, or any other form of civilization) it would take him too long to hike back. Gee hon, hope you catch that elk. Before you make a widow out of me. Have I mentioned that I suffer from anxiety?


THREE CURRENT OBSESSIONS
1. Popcorn. This one has been going on for a while now. I think popcorn is one of the greatest things in the world. Especially light popcorn. It's like the greatest guilt-free food EVER. FYI, the greatest brand of light popcorn - so good my husband will eat it without extra butter - is Redenbacher's Theater Butter Light. I have only found it at one store, but it is the best. Pop Weaver Light Butter is my second choice - found at Wal-mart. Probably no one cares, but now you can see how truly obsessed with popcorn I actually am.

2. I'd probably have to say blogging. I don't spend as much time as some people I know, but I do get on a couple times a day. Sometimes three. Sometimes four? But when you consider I have no TV, it puts it all into perspective, right?

3. Clothes. This is another long-standing obsession of mine. I'm no label girl, either. Just something(s) I can afford, if you please. Ross is my greatest alli, enabling my wardrobe to grow in a fashionably affordable way.


THREE SURPRISING FACTS
1. I'm not fat. Considering my love affair with food, this often surprises me. I'm not a string bean, either, but what I do have I can mostly hide. And no, I don't eat whatever, whenever I want. I do have to work at it. That surprises most people, because they've seen me in the buffet/potluck setting. I tend to go a little hog wild. Especially with the desserts.

2. I suffer from anxiety. I find people don't believe this, and often think I'm joking if it comes up. Ask my sisters - it's VERY for-real.

3. This post is finally over. It's gone on, and on, and now I am finally finished. Hope you're not as relieved as I am.

I tag:
Annie
Laura
Whitney
Cindy