Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Blind Date Revolution

Last night (well, technically it was early this morning) I dreamed I was single, and went on a blind date. This was one of those really realistic dreams, and while I was dreaming it I actually had the thought, "Hey, I should blog about this." So I'm going to.

For some reason, there were two guys. I was riding in the car with one of them (we'll call him Tom) on the way to his house, and he told me about the other guy (whom we'll call Joe). I wasn't sure why there were two guys, but they didn't know each other either. Tom was pretty cute, and he was supposed to be my actual date. I think. I didn't know anything about Joe.

So then we arrive at Tom's house. He lives with his parents. That's always a good sign. After a little get-to-know-you session with Mom, I go out on the porch and there's Joe. He's not my type. We all just hang out and talk for awhile, and I continue to decide that Joe is definitely not my type. And Tom is looking better and better. Until he says, "Well, you two better get going, hope you have a nice time."

Apparently Tom wasn't digging me, and was handing me off to Joe. Seriously. That's why there were two of them - so if one of them didn't like me he could back out. In my dream I actually thought about Barbaloot at this point, and how we'd have to talk about our blind date disasters.

So then we get up to leave (even though I'm in no way excited about a wasted evening with Joe), when I realize I have to get Tom all set to watch my kids. Don't ask me where my kids came from - I was supposed to be single. Yet there they were, and I had to give Tom and his Mom instructions for putting them to bed.

When that's done, I went to put on my shoes and realized all I have are tennis shoes. White tennis shoes. I NEVER wear tennis shoes. Not only do I feel like they make my legs look short and stumpy, they also make my feet extremely claustrophobic and as soon as I'm sitting down anywhere I have to take them off. But thankfully I remember that my old clogs (which are totally trashed, and probably look worse than the tennies) are somewhere in Tom's basement. So while Joe waits, Tom, his mom and I all go hunt down the clogs.

When they're found, I go back upstairs to leave with Joe, and we have a conversation that goes something like this:

Me: Okay, I found my shoes, we can go now.

Joe: Are you sure you want to?

Me: Well, actually, I've always found that within five minutes of meeting someone, you can tell if you're attracted to them and I'm not really attracted to you.

Joe: I totally agree. It seems like it would be kind of a waste of time.

And then I woke up.

And I started thinking. If only blind dates were that easy to get out of in real life. It makes me think single people should revolutionize the blind date into a twenty minute get-to-know you session, where at the end the two people actually decide whether or not to go on with the date.

Think of all the date frustration this would save! I mean seriously. Did you ever go on a blind date and not know within the first twenty minutes whether or not you wanted to be there? Am I the only one who thinks this just makes so much sense? Or is there someone out there who actually went on a date with someone they were totally not-attracted too, only to find out an hour later he had serious dating potential? And wouldn't blind dates be way less threatening if you knew you were only making a twenty minute commitment, and that it would be accepted and not-rude to back out at that point, and say "Well you're really nice, and it was great to meet you, but I don't think you're my type"?

I'm just saying. They could even call these new kind of dates something. Like Jen Dates. (After all, I am the one who invented them). Then the setter-uppers would say, "Hey Barbaloot, I know this guy I want you to meet. Would you be interested in checking him out on a Jen Date?" Totally non-threatening. Am I the only one who thinks this is a great idea???? Or does this just seem shallow and harsh? I kind of can't decide, so would someone help me?


LisAway said...

Your dream was AWESOME and so very, very dreamlike. Especially the part about how you had to arrange babysitting. My kids nudge their way into my single-life dreams all the time, too.

I LOVE the idea of Jen Dates. And the name. Sometimes it goes the other way that you find out later that you're not meant for each other, but warming up to someone you really don't dig is pretty rare.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Sounds great to me.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Sounds great to me.

Barbaloot said...

LOVE that you thought of me in your dream! And seriously---the 20 minute idea sounds like the only sane solution to a blind date.

I try SO hard not to go on blind dates---but if I'm coerced and don't feel like I can say no, I always just say to make it a lunch date and for us to meet there. I don't want him to know where I live, and lunch dates are never more than an hour. Twenty minutes sounds way better though

Machen family said...

I think it's a great idea. Or how about you have one guy in a room full of 30 "AMAZING" women and then he strings them along and makes them feel like they are the only special one in his life and then make out with them like no tomorrow and then dump them so they can go home and on national TV they can cry their little hearts out, while he goes back to some other women just to make out!!

Jen said...

Lisa - No kiddng. WHY can't they just let us alone in dreamland!

Barbaloot - you may have to pave the way here...Just act like everyone's doing it. No one will know the difference.

Machen - I KNOW!!! I mean seriously. Yes I watch the show, but it's so obvious it just isn't how things are supposed to happen.

And last night BUGGED!

Natalie said...

Wow... I've never had the opportunity to go on a blind date, but if I had a Jen date sounds like the way I would have wanted it to go. Short & sweet.

evitafjord said...

I have to write a discussion post this week about using the methods described in some essay about getting out of a date you don't want to be on, but I've never been on a date I wanted to get out of, blind or sighted, so do you think the teacher would notice if I used yours?

Anonymous said...

See, that's why I love the concept of speed dating. Sit down, talk for a few minutes, wait for the bell to ring and move on. They invented this concept well after I was married, but my niece's SIL met her husband that way! And at BYU!!! It's much less mercenary than the whole dumping on national television thing. Which totally sucked. There's just no other word for it.

Jen said...

Evita - Wow. You've never been on a date you wanted to get out of. Your dating life must have been WAYYYYY more successful and rewarding than mine.

And by all means, use it. But I get to see it after you're done with it. Post it, or email it to me because I'm curious like that.

Sue - I so could have done the whole speed date thing.

evitafjord said...

Sure, if by successful and rewarding you mean sparse and desolate. I went on a grand total of 1 date in high school my junior year and had 2 serious boyfriends after high school, including my husband. I did a lot of for-fun dating while my husband was gone on his mission. There WAS one guy I went out with a few times that I didn't want to go on any more dates with, but I just canceled the last one. Or maybe I hid in my apartment and pretended I forgot we had plans. It was definitely one of those two.

Okay, I will either pretend I went through with that date or steal your dream. I'll definitely let you know how it works out.

Kristin said...

Hmm, I can't decide either...I can't decide why you are dating in your dreams. What is your subconscious trying to tell you? I think you are saying, why pay for a babysitter to go waste your time at a friend's house on valentine's day and be really lame, when what you really want to do anyway is stay home and watch seven-brides-for-seven-brothers. maybe? or is it that you really don't want to date anyone who hangs out on their front porch, or lives with their mother? Not just any Tom, Joe or Harry...

Annie Valentine said...

What you call Jen Dates, the rest of the world calls Speed Dates.

I know, you thought you just reinvented the wheel. Kind of like Dad thinking he invented music.

Boy Mom said...

You're way funnier then your famous sister ;)

Anonymous said...

I've never had a dream where I went on a blind date.
I do dream a lot about being back in school. And usually I haven't done the homework and I don't know what is going on. Does that mean something?