Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I'm Not Complaining, I'm Fantasizing

A private bathroom, and a walk in closet. I have no doubt that these two little things would change my world. Most of you have heard me complain about sharing one bathroom with five other people, so I won't bore you with those details here. Instead, I'll just tell you all the wonderful things that would happen if I had my own bathroom. And walk-in closet.

First, the bathroom:

1. It would be connected to my bedroom (as opposed to being on a separate floor of the house).

2. Thanks to number one, that would mean I'd have TWO locking doors between myself and a little privacy. I seriously fantasize about this. Never again would my bathing be interrupted by the family network of bowel movements.

3. There would be room for all MY stuff - and I wouldn't be constantly assaulted by everyone else's. And my boys wouldn't be allowed to pee in my toilet EVER.

4. I could have my own towel. And it could have it's own hook. And no one would ever use or abuse it, because of all the locks I would put on the door to ward off potential pee-ers.

5. My jewelry wouldn't be strewn between my upstairs bedroom where I dress, and my downstairs bathroom where I get ready. Seriously. This is getting so old.

6. If I ever were to wake up in the middle of the night needing to use the toilet (which never happens), it would be right there.

7. When plagued by the stomach flu, I would actually be able to lay in bed AND have close proximity to a flushing receptacle. I'm telling all of you with "attached baths" - you don't know how good you have it.

On to the walk-in closet:

1. It would have a door.

2. It would have shelves, hanging rods, and a place for my shoes.

3. If I didn't feel like using the benefits in number three, it wouldn't matter because of number one.

4. It would have a light, so I would no longer have to sneak around undressing in the dark - which happens three hundred forty-nine days a year because of my husband's need for a full eight hours rest. Instead, I would simply walk in to my closet, shut the door, turn on the light, and be able to see where I was actually putting my clothes, which would definitely up the chances that they'd go somewhere besides the floor.

Again, those of you currently blessed with these two modern marvels should be thankful. In fact, you should all get down on your knees right now, and show your gratitude for the blessings of modern architecture, because I fear you may be taking these things totally for granted.

I, on the other hand, will continue to attempt to remind myself that I really am grateful I at least have indoor plumbing, and that I wasn't born in China, because (in the bathroom department anyway) those really would both be way worse. And the rest of the time I'll just be fantasizing about the locks I'd put on my bathroom door, and the full closet wall dedicated to my shoes. It really would be a beautiful thing.



Shauna said...

I l♥ve your posts! ♥ Hugs :)

Barbaloot said...

It's true---Chinese bathrooms are awful!!

And also, I'm SO sorry. I'm currently very grateful for my single living status as a result of this post. I hope someday, and someday soon, you can have both your own bathroom (with your own sink which is key when living with boys) and a very LARGE walk-in closet.

Natalie said...

It WOULD be a beautiful thing. I'm not arguing with that little nugget. The last time we didn't have two bathrooms was almost 5 years ago and we still had a kid in diapers. Even back then it had become a criteria. "Okay, our next house must have a back yard and more than one bath..." We're not necessarily good at sticking to our guns, but we do on that rule. Once we became two bathroom people we never went back. Sadly, we still have traffic jams and long lines for the bathrooms at times. I think I could really use one more. Why am I never satisfied?

Melissa Bastow said...

I don't know what I would do without a flushing receptacle nearby seeing as I am a frequent night pee-er and I am required to barf into it atleast a couple times a month (more when I'm pregnant - I don't know why - no I don't have an eating disorder - this is not by choice - but thank the porcelain gods I have an attached bathroom!)

And just so you know, whenever I mention you to my husband and say, "On Jen's blog..." he goes, "Jen who?" And then I say, "Angelina Jolie in the bathtub" and then he knows who you are.

Anonymous said...

In our last house, I had to share the bathroom with 3 little (at the time) boys, so I can empathize. The seat was NEVER dry.

In our house now, we have a "guest" bathroom, which only I can use. Whenever I take a step into our boys' bathroom, I remember why I don't let them use mine.

evitafjord said...

Our official master bedroom has both; however, if I want to use them, I would have to give up having a family room (and a storage closet). Once we have more than one boy using the potty, I might change my mind about needing a family room. But my living room is really small and doesn't fit enough furniture.

We actually have 2-1/2 bathrooms (one up with the bedrooms, 1.5 down) but this week we are sacrificing the 1/2 bath to become a laundry room. Those of you who already have a laundry room should also be really thankful.

nikkicrumpet said...

You have just made me look at my master bathroom and my walkin closet in a whole new light...I will never take them for granted again. And I do remember the days of having only one bath and 5 people sharing is a distant memory that I've tried to banish. Having a nice loooong bubble bath is a thing of beauty! I wish for you a day in the near future where you have a bath per person....and that someone else has to clean them all!!!

Machen family said...

Jen don't forget the jetted tub, chocolate fountain and personal topless towel valet named Rico. I think that should complete the fantasy quite nicely.

Karen ~ said...

Oh my, you have just written about the two dreams I have held for over 20 years .. in all my adult life I have said all I want is a master bath and a walk-in closet ... I have never had either.


Maybe someday.

Alison Wonderland said...

I'm also not complaining but um, yeah, me too.

April said...

The next time I use my bathroom that took 2 years to remodel, I will think of you. I'm still waiting for the walk-in closet.

Philippine bathrooms don't fair much better. BYOT

honeypiehorse said...

Dude. At least you live in the land of opportunity so it is conceivable that you will one day have your own walk in closet and bathroom. German houses don't ever have either one so I can't even fantasize!

Kelly said...

Well, I definitely wish you luck on getting that large of a walk-in closet. We have a walk-in, but that's about all you can do in it. When the laundry cart is in there, good luck with space-there is none! Our house plan came with the smallest closets in our neighborhood. And I know for sure because I am snoopy and while all the other houses were being built I'd walk through them and totally COVET their HUGE closets!

More bathrooms are nice though.

Rachel said...

Yes because SERIOUSLY, having lived in China, your bathroom is a palace! It was just so grand standing over my poopy squatter while I showered in the morning. Peeing in the shower wasn't all that disgusting, just wash your hair while standing over the squatter hole...easy! But I too dream of my own bathroom space, only mine has an enormous jetted jacuzzi tub!!

Machen family said...

Jen would you take me seriously if I stated that Mary coming back to blogging has made me want to start up again. Would you visit me?

Annie Valentine said...

It looks like Shauna still loves you. Isn't that enough to make your household woes all worthwhile?

Jen said...

Machen - would I visit you? As in your blog? HELLO! Of COURSE I would!!!

R Max said...

I want all of that, plus separate ..."his" and "her" bathrooms where "her" never has to clean "his".

Oh bliss!

Kristin said...

Boys pee in toilets? i had no idea? I thought they just peed "at" them.

jane said...

i hereby swear to forever be more grateful for what I have...

love your posts!