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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

How I Lost My Membership in the Ricks College VL Club

So Crash wants first kiss stories. I was going to attempt to put it in her comment box, but I quickly realized such limitations would never allow me to do it justice. Instead, I decided to treat you all to the full meal deal here on my blog. Lucky you.

First off, I would just like to say that my first kiss did not happen before I was sixteen. Second off, I would like to add that it didn't happen before I graduated from high school. To be brutally honest, it ALMOST didn't happen before I graduated from Ricks College.

I know. I attended Dateland America for five semesters, and didn't get kissed until half way through the last one. No innocent pecks. No spin the bottle. Not a single night of NICMO. (For those of you that didn't attend BYU-something-or-other, that stands for non-committal-makeout)(Can you believe I missed out on that???)

I would also like to say, that this not-kissing business was NOT because I was against kissing. It is also not because I had no opportunities. Even as far back as high school, there were definitely boys who would have kissed me - I just didn't want to kiss any of them. The boys I actually would have considered never offered. Go figure.

Then I got to Ricks and found out there was a club for people like me. The Virgin Lips Club. And although I was in pretty good company, I was not a proud member. At any time I would have been very happy to hand in my VL status for a little kissing action, but...

I was too chicken. This is what happens to girls who go that long without being kissed. We begin to wear a stamp on our forehead visible only to eligible members of the opposite sex, that says "Kiss you? No I don't want to kiss you! I mean, not unless you want to kiss me first, which probably won't happen since you'll NEVER KNOW I actually have a major crush on you, because I am so terrified you'll know I really do want to kiss you (or even just date you) that I will act as if I am the world's best buddy instead."

Whatever we put out there truly is what the world sees. And I will prove that point.

I went along like this for four semesters. I lived in three different apartments. I met LOTS of people, got set up on several dates, and was asked out a grand total of one time. I was the perennial buddy. I was "one of the guys". Other girls were jealous of all my "guy friends".

And all because of that stupid, invisible stamp.

And then came my final semester at Ricks. Rather than graduate in four semesters, I saved Math 101 (because I need serious time and help when it comes to math), Fit For Life (because I was avoiding the mandatory running involved), and FA 100 (because I'm a huge procrastinator) for one last semester. Besides that, I had started Ricks in a winter semester, and wasn't really ready to leave the fun behind mid-year.

That Christmas, while my bosom-buddy/roommate/niece (I know, it's weird) Kelly and I were home with the fam, we decided to change our stamps. We adopted a new motto: "Take Rexburg By Storm" (which was actually code for "Take Rexburg's Male Population By Storm").

And we did.

Rather than hiding from prospective flirtations, we left the apartment each day in search of male attention. We were available, and wanted the world to know. Eye contact was implemented, smiles were cast, and our stamps changed to "Date Me!" And within the first week I gave out my first phone number EVER.

Coincidence? I think not.

Who was he? Is he the one that broke the evil non-kissing spell? I'd love to tell you now, but it's getting late (and this post is getting REALLY long), so this story is going to have to be

To Be Continued...

28 comments:

Kritta22 said...

Oh come one!! I came over from Crash's site....beating Ham Chick and get this....cheap!

I'll be back later!!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Way to go Kritta, you must read faster than me, plus I had to unblock this blog of inmorality that my net nanny keeps blocking from my innocent teenage boys. Sheesh.

So yes Jen, what the what? I hate two part posts/tv episodes.

Do we have to wait until 1 am tommorow night? Because that is just cruel.

Jen said...

Sorry! (but I did mention the whole "First Installment" part to avoid this kind of disappointment...)

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Yes you did, but my selective hearing didn't let me hear you.

Jen said...

And I'll do my best to get back to the story at a decent hour. Just for you Pat:)

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Thanks Jen, you are so good to me. Always humoring your elders is a good thing.

WatsonFamily said...

Dang!

OK...I'll wait.

LisAway said...

Oh! I love your Ricks stories! Takes me back. I was about half way done at Ricks before I got my first kiss! See? We even wore the same invisible stamp, you and I!

Can't wait for the rest of this! Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Laura said...

I already know the story and I'm still in suspense, lol!! I think you were just trying to not be like me, who made a no-more-kissing pact and broke it that week...you make me look like a shameless hussy! haha!

Rachel said...

Oh! I love makeout stories! And you left us hanging!! I can't wait to hear what happens! I too was part of the VL club until college. My husband was actually my first kiss, can you believe it!? He wasn't my *only* kiss because after he left on the mish, I had a few NICMO, haha!

Barbaloot said...

Okay, so how did I not know we were the same person? So far, you are telling my story, just switch Ricks to BYU and we're good to go. Down to the five years in college.
And also all the same feelings about it---I wasn't against kissing as much as kissing was against me.

I'm definitely coming back to find out what happens!

Machen family said...

Unless I can count making out with my hand (for practice purposes, of course) there were no lips that touched these fragile, delicate blossoms until I reached 20. And I'm exaggerating....my hand didn't even want to make out with me, I was a lonely girl.

Natalie said...

That ending was priceless! Way to leave your readers in suspense!

Oh, and I'm with Laura (but worse.) Your VL club stories make me feel like a shameless hussy! Of course, considering the fact that I was married at 16 and had my 4th kid by my 23rd birthday, maybe I deserve that. LOL

Kimberly said...

That wasn't long at all - you just want to toy with us! =P

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hee hee. I love the post so far and now I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for the cliff hanger ending.

I also love that Kritta and NHC raced over her in their slumber party delirium to read it. hee hee So cute.

I also went to Ricks. Wahoo! Good times. Lots of slipping on the ice in our pumps, right?

I totally agree about the stamps we wear! So agree.

I'll post this link today.

Sue Q said...

Ooooo, I can't wait... I've never been brave enough to share these kinds of personal stories -- more because I didn't want to admit my own social inadequacies, but since you have now broken down that barrier, I may have to take the plunge! (But only if somebody promises me that wherever my ex-boyfriends are, their wives won't come across my blog and leave nasty comments!)

(And don't worry -- there's not that many of them -- ex-boyrfriends, I mean. I have no idea how many wives they've had....)

(Ouch, that was just plain mean....)

Kelly said...

I am on pins and needles.

Annie Valentine said...

Should I ruin the ending and tell them you got kissed?

Tiffany said...

That is all I get, you really were a tease.

Claire said...

You'd better make sure that your sequel includes lots of sordid details. Even if you have to lie. I love a good romance/kissing story. Makes me yearn for some romance in my own life... hehehe Oh Robbie?...

T said...

Jen... Soooo not nice to tease ;) You'd better have some fun photographic evidence if we have to wait a whole DAY!

Alison Wonderland said...

Oh the tension. And then what?!?

Haynsy said...

I've known you for a long time and you're telling me that you didn't kiss until college.

Who are you and what have you done with Jenny?!

nevadanista said...

The suspense is killing me, even though I'm certain it's going to end with a kiss.

nikkicrumpet said...

Well no wonder it took so dang long for you to get a kiss...we've just been shown your true colors...You're a TEASE!!!

R Max said...

Noooooo! I hate part twos! If you don't hurry up and blog it, I will make it up and post it on my blog and it will be SO JUICY!

Stephanie said...

I love all your stories from Ricks. Too bad we were only roomies for a year, it would have been fun to experience jen the whole time.

Melissa Bastow said...

I have missed so many of your posts....my life has been so sad. But I'm catching up now, so that's good, right? ANYWAYS, I just wanted to say that I wasn't a VL member but still had the "guy-friends" stamp. Clearly something was majorly wrong with me? Ok, now I'm going to read part two.....I'm sure you're patiently anticipating my comment there.