The Blogging Verdict

Wow. You all should be totally "peaced out" by now, if you read my last post and followed the farewell instructions... That was like almost a week of peacing. You've probably never felt better. In fact - I may have changed your life!

I should get into blogging funks more often.

Actually, this last week has been a rather interesting experiment. You know how when you get sick you can't remember what it feels like to be well? Am I the only one who's noticed this? Or pregnant. You're about eight and a half months pregnant, and you really, truly, can NOT remember what it feels like to not be pregnant?

That's how I was feeling about blogging.

As many of you know, I didn't have internet access in my house until July. Of this year. Shocking, I know. Amazingly, however, we had managed to get by just fine with out it. Emailing me information wasn't always the smartest idea - especially if it was urgent - but otherwise, I (we) were pretty normal.

I really didn't know anything about blogs, except that Annie had one. I would occasionally read hers at my mother's, laugh, and wish I had a google account so I could rat her out on stuff, but that was about it.

Then came that fateful day, when I decided to go big, spend the dough, and get hooked up.

Within the week I was blogging.

At first, I thought that like Annie, I was supposed to blog every day. That lasted about one week. Then I regained my sanity, remembered my children, and toned it down to once every two or three days. I was still only reading a few blogs of close friends and family though, so my blogging world was very small.

Enter mormon mommy blogs.

Can we say total takeover? All of the sudden there were countless cool/funny/witty blogs out there, and not only was I finding them, they were finding me!! I comment, they comment, we comment - before you know it, I have some hysterical blog-friends from all over the place.

And I love to write. What could be better than having something to say (even if it's actually nothing but senseless drivel), putting it into words, and having all these people relate/validate/commiserate with you? Especially if you can occasionally make someone smile. To me, that's the greatest.

And in the faculty room, I can say cool things like "Yeah, I have a blogging friend who lives in Poland. She could probably find that recipe for you."

But then, there was the rest of the story. Like the part where you get on the blog to "check your comments" and enter the phenomenon of blog-time-warp. You know, the one where you SWEAR it's only been a half hour blog-time-warp time, but in the real world it's been two hours?

And there's the hungry/neglected/learning-to-fend-for-themselves children (because Mom is stuck in blog-time-warp and thinks it's only been two minutes since you asked for that sandwich). When they started pointing out my computer time, and making certain accusations (that I will not name, and which many of you have probably heard in your own houses anyway) I decided to take a little control of my blog-life.

Like a responsible adult, I imposed computer time constraints on myself, and have been pretty good at sticking to them - but still. Blogging took things over so fast and furiously, I felt like I was pregnant again. Pregnant with a blog post. I just couldn't remember what it was like to not have one rolling around inside me, waiting - demanding even - to be let out into the wonderful world of Blog.

And then there's the matter of my book. Yes, I am finally coming clean - before the blog, I was taking my creative energies out on a novel. It was coming along nicely before the blog. Now it's more like an orphan... kind of like my actual children...

So anyway, I began to have that feeling. That "what was my life like before the blog?" feeling. I really couldn't remember. Did I get more done? Was I a better mom? If I just stopped would life go back to normal, or would I miss blogging and feel a hole in my soul with out it?

Enter Blogging Funk.

I was at odds with the blog. There was no karma there. I could think of nothing to say, because I wasn't sure if I should keep saying something. So I stopped. For almost a week. The results? (I'm sure I have you on the edge of your seats...)

At first, it was like a big sigh of relief. The pressure (inflicted on myself, by myself) was lifted. I wasn't writing, so no one was commenting, so I didn't have to go look and see what they might have said, so I wasn't also going to see what else they said, and what everyone else said about that. Whew. I had fleeting thoughts about how people might abandon me if I went a week with out contributing, but I recklessly pushed these aside. (We'll see how that one turned out now, won't we?). After all, as of Wednesday... Thursday... EVEN Friday, I wasn't sure if I'd be blogging again anyway.

Then Saturday afternoon I looked around at my house.

Destroyed. Just. Like. Usual.

And I hadn't blogged for DAYS.

I smiled. I "Hmphed". I felt a little giddy.

It wasn't the blog after all! It was just me! I'm just a rotten keeper-up-with-the-messes-everyone-is-making-around-me kind of mom! I know I shouldn't feel so excited about this (I'm sure my husband wouldn't), but the verdict finally came in - blogging is okay!

I can blog.

Just not always three/four times a week.

And that's okay. (Right? You'll still love me???)

*Sigh* I feel much better. Now if they'd only let us access Blogger from work...