Just Me Dreaming of a Hologram Machine Again...

I want a hologram machine. Or room, or however it is they work. I'm not really into Star Trek, but nine years ago when my oldest was a baby, I would occasionally watch some Star Trek show my sister was into while I was at her house. About the only thing I took away from it was the hologram thing.

For those of you who don't know how it works, holograms are the coolest thing ever. The people on the ship would go to a hologram room, and program it to be whatever they wanted. They could practice fighting, go to some weird planet, basically create any environment they wanted. Including people, places, and events from the past. Nothing was real of course, it was all just some kind of crazy, completely tangible and real illusion.

I think all the time about how cool it would be to have my own hologram thingy.

Not because I want to simulate fights, or visit weird places - I want to be able to visit the past. Just think of how fabulous it would be:

I could relive the night my husband and I kissed for the first time. Heck, I could relive any moment I wanted from that amazing summer!

I could relive late night moments snuggling with my babies. Without the tiredness, because it wouldn't really be in the middle of the night.

At the drop of a hat (well, manipulation of some crazy-wild-amazing-computer-thing) I could relive Conan's first day of preschool.

Just think of being able to go back and talk to your toddlers with their cute little voices and ways of talking. Things the mind lets go of, regardless of how desperately you try to hold on.

I could just hug. My children, my grandparents - anyone I wanted to see, hear and feel again.

I could go back and spend an afternoon feeding the cows with my sisters in our hideous '70's style ski pants purchased for the chore at thrift stores. Maybe we'd even get the truck stuck - just for fun.

The list is endless, really. And it would be the most perfect thing. You wouldn't really be IN the past, so you wouldn't have to worry about messing things up. But yet, so many untouchable memories could be brought back to life. My kids aren't even out of elementary school, and already I miss kissing their chubby little cheeks, and pulling their little snuggly baby bodies onto my lap for a cuddle.

Ever try to cuddle with a nine year old? Mine's willing, and we do our best, but he has so many bones! And his arms and legs are way to long if you ask me.

Holograms are also better than stopping time. I mean really, I miss loving and kissing my babies, but I don't think it's worth committing myself to a lifetime of diaper changing just to keep them little. Besides, watching them grow is one of the greatest parts.

I just get kind of desperate when I realize they're all getting so big. What if I can't remember everything? Like how they smelled as babies? Or how it felt to pick their warm little bodies up out of the crib?

So now you all know. I'm just a big, sentimental weirdo, who dreams about the possibilities of holograms in the real world every time I kiss my babies goodnight. But you have to admit - it's a pretty cool idea.