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Monday, September 1, 2008

The Jog/Walk Diaries - Doing the Shuffle

I just want to tell the world that I really have gone jog/walking. TWICE. I know, I know, you think I am amazing. I'm actually feeling a little that way myself, to tell you the truth. Who would have thought I'd be up for multiple bouts of self-torture? That's a bet I definitely would have lost.

And how has it been, you want to know? Will I continue? Can I still move after two maybe-it-was-a-mile jog/walks? I'm currently undecided on most of these issues, although just thinking about how far I've traveled down the road of complete muscle deterioration and loss of cardio stamina, makes me think my nighttime forays will probably continue.

And yes, I have been waiting for the cover of darkness before jog/walking. You see, it's not like I'm just jog/walking. This fitness undertaking (no pun on the whole death and dying thing intended) revolves around basketball, and my getting in decent enough shape to handle a game of horse. This being the case, I have incorporated sprints and defensive stance/slides into my jog/walking routine. This is not a joke. I would die if I were seen.

Can you imagine watching some chick jog/walking nonchalantly along, thinking she's a completely normal person, when suddenly she drops into a defensive stance and does these moronic looking shuffles from one side of the lonely country road to the other? Or stays in place doing defensive shuffles facing front-2,3,4, right-2,3,4, left-2,3,4, etc.? There's no way I'm jog/walking in daylight hours. I mean, really, I'm the first to admit I can be a bit dorky, but I do have some pride.

And it is a bit boring. And I'm definitely sore. Not like volleyball-daily-double-sore, or anything, but I am feeling the effects of jog/walk/defensive-shuffling.

There are some encouraging aspects as well. Like the fact that I made my almost-mile in twenty-seven minutes on the first go. (Are you seeing how pathetic it is now?? This was encouraging... So sad). And last night? Which I might have skipped if it hadn't been for the incredibly guilt-inducing oreos my darling husband brought home? Hold onto your hats, I took three minutes off my time! What is it people say when excited? Whoot? Well that's how I felt - Whootish. And very, very, tired.

So next time you're feeling down, picture me defensive-shuffling my way down the road like a complete idiot. I guarantee you'll crack a smile. True, it will be at my expense, but hey - what are friends/blogging buddies for?

10 comments:

Stephanie said...

I'd pay to see it. Do you have a picture? :) Oh, I do the same thing kind of. I've been trying to cut my 5K race time down because I like to win medals that my kids can prance around the house in and then lose.

Kelly said...

Thanks for the visual. Aren't you scared being out on that end of the road at night alone? Do you carry mace? Or are you positive your defensive stance will send any up-to-no-gooders running? Do you think of Greg Hardy's practices while you slide by his house? These are all questions I am dying to have answered! Good job and good luck to your continued success, I am rooting for you.

Jen said...

I'm more worried about Lolita's (Mel Simon's mail order bride's) psycho dog than anything else. Tonight I plan to carry rocks just in case. I try never to think of Hardy's practices, and I think my defensive stance would send ANYONE running - from the crazy lady.

Kimberly said...

Oh my...thanks for all the giggles! Glad I found my way over here, you are such a hoot!

If I ever do anything physically active like that I'll do it under cover of darkness as well.

To hide all the jiggling. =P

Natalie said...

Now that sounds like a fun workout! ;-) I'm kinda curious about Mel Simon's mail order bride & her dog, BTW...

Skeem's said...

wahooo! good job on the running! I hope it starts to feel a little better and funner:) Good luck with the late night runs!

Kerry said...

Good inspiration for us all. I am glad I don't have to do anything for basketball-my pathetic abilities are limmited when it comes to defensive stances-although some in the family might disagree. I need to start back to the old exercise thing again. always and forever

Kristin said...

go go go little racer! Next thing we know your be blogging your marathon antics. lovely imagery, lol. proud of you!

Laura said...

I can so totally picture you. I can't imagine what the neighbors would think of me, even under the cover of darkness, which there isn't much of around here, if I was doing that. They might call CPS on me for mental instability! Hahaha!

Kellie Buckner said...

I have an exercise video called Walk Away the Pounds. There's a reason it's a video for home use and not a program for out of the home recreation.