Thursday, August 28, 2008

Meara - The Bionic Two Year Old

When my mom was young, she had a dog named Sunny that lived in the house. The only thing she's ever told me about Sunny, is that no matter where the dog was, or how hard it was sleeping, you couldn't get into the cookie jar with out Sunny knowing. No matter how quietly the lid was handled, moments later Sunny would come bounding into the kitchen asking for a treat.

Some people have dogs. We have Meara.

For lack of treats and desserts in our house (because I have no self control and cannot sleep if such things are available), (that last was NOT an exaggeration by the way) my husband has come up with his own evening treat. Cake mix. And water. In a mug. Sound terrible, doesn't it? Just for the record, however, it's actually not bad.

To make this decadent dessert, he dumps some mix (preferably yellow) into a mug, pours in a little water, and stirs rapidly until the mixture reaches a smooth consistency. When ready for consumption, he sits on the couch with his treat and eats it with a spoon. And then he leaves the cup lying around so I can find it later with cake mix all dried and crusted inside. (That last sentence has nothing to do with this story, but everything to do with another story).

Needless to say our children are all aware of "Dad's stuff" and like him to share with them. Especially Meara. A couple of nights ago Rusty sneaked off to the kitchen with plans to get his "stuff" upstairs before being detected. As he finished stirring and came walking out of the kitchen with it, he picked up a tail.

We couldn't figure out how she saw the cup - since he practically had it in his shirt - but there was no doubt she knew what was going on. She moved right in behind him with the excited skipping, laughing, pig-tail-bouncing gait of a two year old who knows she's about to get a bite of "Dad's stuff". He made the circuit through our living room/front room at least three times before admitting there was no getting away from her.

FYI, if you have food - there is NO getting away from her.

Tonight we figured out her secret abilities. There we were, sitting on the couch. Rusty nonchalantly stands up and moves into the kitchen. Meara is playing on the other side of the couch. A few minutes later, I just happen to notice the faint "clink, clink" of spoon stirring in mug, and somewhere in my brain the fact registers that Rusty's making his "stuff".

At about this same moment Meara's head pops up. She resembles a hound on the scent. She drops whatever it was she was playing with, puts her head down, and runs for the kitchen.

She meets him at the kitchen doorway - hot on his heels.


Do you think I could get on Oprah? Maybe That's Incredible would be interested.

And the scariest thing? I'm pretty sure she gets this ability from me. I do have a thing for treats. If I thought my neighbors had cake at their house I'd probably come up with an excuse to go visiting. Even though I hardly know them.

Where these abilities will take my daughter, no one can tell. Maybe she should be some kind of food taster? Does anyone know if there's money in that? It seems like she could be worth something to the right people, doesn't it?

Who knows. But for now, I just hope those of you without freaky-hyper-sensibility-two-year-olds appreciate eating your food in peace. Next time you eat something good - that you don't want to share - think of us and be even happier. We would be sharing.


Natalie said...

That's too cute! I always thought it would be fun to be a restaurant critic. BTW, I cannot believe you're so skinny with such a sweet tooth! And you say you have no self control...

Kimberly said...

Hee hee...I have the same issue with treats. We can't keep them in the house I snarf them.

The other day my husband bought fudge though and I swear I could smell it even through all the plastic and the grocery bag.

Kelly said...

Cake mix with water? Genius!! I have resorted to mixing butter with sugar and adding flour when craving cookie dough. I know either so genius or so, so sad.

Actually even after knowing you for 31 1/2 years and living with you in college I never realized you were such a bloodhound. I guess because I never hid doughnuts under my mattress, huh?

Jen said...

Kel, with you there was never any mystery where treats were concerned! Besides, we never had treats - we were too busy following crazy diets, and trying not to blimp out.

Jen said...

Oh, and Kel, about your psuedo-cookie dough. I really don't know what to say, except that is so incredibly "Seaberg" of you I have to laugh! I can so picture you (and ONLY you) doing that. It reminds me of your tuna fish with mustard on bread so lightly toasted it was really just dry, sandwiches.

by AnnieValentine said...

No really, the kid has a radar that is OUT OF CONTROL. I miss Meara. I do not miss her appetite. It shouldn't even be classified as an appetite, more like a 24 hour convenience store that takes food instead of giving food.

Stephanie said...

That's pretty funny, I read this and started to think, "Is Meara their dog?" :)