Thursday, August 7, 2008

Confessions of a Fair Food Fanatic

This really is the most appropriate blog to follow my last post, because it revolves around me and food. Fair food, to be exact. Can I just say that one time a year it is okay for every human being to gorge themselves on deep fried, chocolate dipped, onion smothered food - with a clear conscience? I love the fair! But what makes this eating frenzy even more enjoyable? Someone who feels the same way, and can guiltlessly eat their way from one food stand to the next with only slight breathers in between.

My husband, bless his red head, does not fit into the above category. As far as he's concerned, no one should eat at the fair because the food is overpriced, and not that good. What can I say? Can you imagine the dampening affect this has on my annual fair food binge? I'm ordering cheesecake on a stick, dipped in chocolate and rolled in crushed butterfinger, and he's saying things like "How can you eat that? Do you know how fattening that is? Why don't you just go buy a whole cheesecake? It would be cheaper."

Okay, rule numero uno for the fair food diet - you NEVER discuss the fat or calorie content of the food! It just isn't done. And the price? If I can't scrounge up enough money for the basics: scones, funnel cake, some incredibly greasy entree, and a shaved ice, I'm not even going. The quilt barn is nice, but it just doesn't have the draw of a strawberry shortcake, or an onion burger.

So this year I took a better date. Someone who appreciates fair food like I do, and who possibly set some kind of record for food consumption at the Puyallup Fair when we were kids. I took my sister Annie. We'd spent the morning dragging/pushing/chasing the seven children belonging to us around the fair, and went back last night to enjoy ourselves. We'd both fasted all day in preparation of the big feast, and went strictly for the food. It was glorious. I only wish we'd had enough time to let things settle for another couple of courses.

We started with a gyro - lamb, steak, feta cheese - tasty and not too filling. Important for your first course. Next we debated over an Indian taco, but at $10.95 decided it would limit our choices later and went for a bloomin' onion instead. Ahh, the greasy, crunchy, ranch-dipped fun of eating with no conscience.

Annie voted against going straight for the funnel cake. Too much deep-fried at once can apparently hinder your appetite and proper appreciation of the funnel cake. A mistake she's made before. Are we experts, or what? Instead we opted for the lighter raspberry filled scone. Always a good choice. We went ahead an took a little walk at this point to let things settle.

A stroll through the produce barn and booth pavilion was just enough. Back for the funnel cake. Powdered sugared, whipped creamed, raspberry sauced funnel cake. Mmmmm. So good, but unfortunately so filling. Now was the time for something light and fruity. The problem? It was getting cold, and lemonade sounded too chilly. We walked around to try and warm up a little, but it wasn't helping. I wanted to go for the shaved ice despite the cold, but unfortunately my sister likes the grossest flavors and was unwilling to compromise. Bubble gum, cotton candy, and watermelon? All on the same shaved ice? Disgusting.

I'm sad to admit that we left with more than $5.00 in our pocket. Gyros, bloomin' onion, scones, and funnel cake is really a pretty poor showing for professionals. Today I'm feeling a bit disappointed in myself. Considering this was consumed in less than an hour and a half, however, I suppose we should get some credit. It was late, we were cold, the fair was about to close. I regret foregoing the last course (light and fruity), but at least I'd had a shaved ice earlier - my only consolation. Next year's plan? Start earlier, dress warmer, and bring a date with equal enthusiasm. Annie probably won't be available, any takers?


Kelly said...

I'd be your taker, but I wouldn't be able to help much in the putting away of the food. I always end up getting a stomach ache no matter how good it tastes or smells. Although, I love the fair (we spent 6 1/2 hours there yesterday) and love losing myself in the smells from the food court, I know from experience, I'm best just smelling. All I consumed yesterday? A few bites of curly fries and one baby-sized chocolate cone (although now I wish I would've at least tried for a raspberry and bavarian creme elephant ear) and left with my stomach intact! I've never claimed to be a professional though.

Natalie said...

Hello! I'm there! I'll show you enthusiam! Dustin is only slightly better than Rusty when it comes to fair food. An elephant ear & he's happy.

Jen said...

Bavarian creme/raspberry elephant ears??!! How did I not know about this? I may have to go back. I can't believe I missed something so fabulous - some professional.

Kristin said...

I second the Bavarian creme elephant ears, we had one yesterday and now I'm wanting another, I am getting the munchies reading your post. last year I tried a deep fried twinkie - loved it! It is on a stick, dipped in funnel cake for good cheer = marshmellow lava.

Natalie said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog. It's funny- we were just discussing you & I checked my email and saw I had a new comment from you. :-) As per the discussion... Tatton & Brooke were fighting and Russell jumped in the middle of them to split the fight up and got hurt. He was crying, "I was just trying to be a peacemaker like Jenny said. The Scriptures teach us to be peacemakers! You jerks!" I thought it was cool that he remembered what you told him! You never know for sure if they're listening and what will stick, you know?

by AnnieValentine said...

WHo says I'm not going to be around next year? DO NOT GIVE MY TICKET AWAY.You know nobody does the fair food frenzy better than Polly.

Stephanie said...

I would love to be your date, too bad we live across the country. Maybe one of these days we'll make it that direction! I had deep friend oreos at ours on Friday. They were okay, I thought they would be much better. I will blog about them later along with my fair experience. :)