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Monday, December 15, 2008

"When Cookies and Crafts Collide" or "Why I'm Not in the Kitchen"

I should be in the kitchen right now, finishing off my TWELVE DOZEN cookies for a cookie exchange tomorrow night.

Instead, I'm giving myself another lame blog makeover. Why the makeover? Because my cookies require dipping in chocolate, and for some reason that's feeling just a little too "crafty" to me. I hate crafts. (And if you don't understand what that statement means, OR want to commiserate as a fellow non-crafter, click here for further enlightnement). When I attempt crafts, everything always goes wrong, takes too much time, and makes me tired. I got two cookies dipped, ate one of them, and shelved the whole thing till my energy comes back.

Why is the makeover lame? Because blog makeovers can only be as cool as the person giving them is blog-savvy. I am obviously blog-lame, because every time I search the world wide web for non-lame blog templates and find one I like, it always gives me some infuriating statement about how it "isn't allowed."

I'm tired of disappointment. Which unfortunately limits my choices to the Blogger templates, and their VERY limited color pallet. (Which, consequently, doesn't look the same on my computer as it apparently does on everyone else's [possible reason for some of it's lameness], and one time I gave my background this really pretty yellow, only to discover [a month or two later when viewing on my parents' computer] that it was actually an extremely obnoxious/bright lemon yellow on every other computer in the world. Sorry for that viewers! Who knows what my new selection of lame-blogger-colors looks like to all of you... I'm crossing my fingers).

The worst part about it? I've wasted all this time not-finishing my cookies, and I don't even like my new look. I'm already missing the old one, and no, I did not save it. (Because I - lame blogger that I am - have no idea how one goes about doing such blog-savvy things).

And I keep thinking about the dipping of all those cookies. And then I start regretting my decision to go for the "dipping" cookies, when I could have gone for the "rolling in sugar" cookies. I can handle rolling. I learned that one in kindergarten. The dipping, however, (all two cookies I dipped) is giving me a real headache. I made these no-bake peanut butter crisp balls, and the recipe said to "use a toothpick or fork to dip them in chocolate."

Right.

They fell off the toothpick, and the fork left suspicious looking fork-marks all over the cookie. Currently, the cookies are resting in the fridge, where they will hopefully harden enough to stay on the toothpick and not fall off/apart when dipped.

I should have rolled. And baked. No bakes are worthless - one hundred and fifty cookies later, and my house smells like nothing. It's almost as if I never made the blasted cookies for all the holiday-aroma they provided.

And now (if it isn't already painfully obvious) I'm just killing time, rambling on, and on, about absolutely nothing.

But I should be in the kitchen dipping.

I can do it. I can actually be very "dippy" at times, so it shouldn't be beyond my abilities, right?

But next year I'm rolling.

18 comments:

Sue Q said...

Oh, honey. I wish I could just pop over to your house and help you dip the night away, or at least give you blogging tips, but since: a) your dipping medium is chocolate and most of it would probably end up on my fingers and therefore, temptingly, my MOUTH; and b) I would be absolutely no help in the techno-blogging department, all I can do is commiserate with you. I am sending all my creative energy, will power, and positive vibes to your front door!

(Hey, now THERE'S a great idea for a giveaway! Creative juices -- and I don't mean V-8!!)

Jen said...

Sue - you're the greatest. I might even have fun if someone was here with me! (Of course I'd somehow mangage to ensure they were doing all the dipping...)

Jen R. said...

I say use your hands to dip. It'll be a little messier but you can lick your chocolatey fingers after!

LisAway said...

That's it! Thank you! I've been wondering why I'm so lazy and I will never knead anything or roll anything out and then cut it little shapes, or even mix separate ingredients in separate bowls very often. Now I know it's got nothing to do with laziness! It's because I'm not a crafter and these are crafty things! I say! We really do have a lot in common.

Claire said...

there's a lot to be said for just going to Millie's and buying a whole load of cookies instead of making them. I'm not ashamed to say that it works for me. For I am NOT at all crafty. Well.... crafty when it comes to trying to pass the Millie's cookies off as my own home-baked goods... hehhe

Deb said...

I have found a soul sister. I can't stand doing crafts, I routinely send store-bought cupcakes on my own plate to school...I am ashamed.

And don't get me started on my "hand-knit" scarves...

Love your blog!!

Deb

Robyn said...

I have a yummy recipe for you. I got tons of compliments on it from our cookie exchange. Of course, since your cookie exchange is today, I am not much help. but hey- try it some other time. I can't take the credit myself because when it comes to "crafty" anything I don't come up with the idea myself. I am more of a copy cat. Here goes Bag of mini pretzel twists, bag of rolos, any kind of nut you like. (we like almonds) preheat oven to 200 degrees. line up pretzels on cookie sheet. Unwrap a rolo and put a rolo on top of each pretzel. put in oven for 3-4 minutes (enough to melt the rolo a bit) Smush nut into melted rolo. let chocolate reset (I pop the cookie sheet into the freezer for a minute) All done! Yummy Yummy! I even enlisted the kids help and they liked unrolling the rolos.

Barbaloot said...

Ooh-good luck with all the dipping. I don't envy you at all. But I do feel a little bad for you.

And also--totally get you on the blog makeover. Mine is destined to stay the way it is now forever and ever. And ever. I'm afraid if I tried to do anything to it I'd delete it or something.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I feel you pain and wish I could come over to help also. Many hands make light work or something like that. Speaking of which do you have any friends that would want to come. Any job is better with friends. Also in my opinion music helps.

Good luck. I would never even want to be in a cookie swap because I couldn't take the pressure, so you are doing better than me.

Alison Wonderland said...

Dipping? What? Way beyond my abilities.

And the blogs kind of a mellow peachy. It's nice enough (though somewhat unexciting).

Machen family said...

I feel for you...I don't know what's worse a makeover gone horribly wrong or chocolate..

catie said...

it's a beautiful pale yellow on my screen! and the whole twelve dozen...i could not handle. i'm freaking out about my six dozen i have to make when i get home from work tonight!

go you.

Susan said...

I totally hear you!! I actually just got a new design up today - too funny!!! - but totally had to ask for help. I tried to make template changes myself and lost content, posts, pictures, and god forbid...what the hell are widgets anyway???!!!!

Kristina P. said...

OK, I came to comment barf all over you. How is it I have never been to your cute, funny blog before? I must repent.

And 12 dozen cookies? It wasn't until I started reading blogs about cookie exchanges that I found some people give cookies to the needy and don't take them for themselves!! What is that about!

I hosted my second one, a couple of weeks ago, and I only require 4 dozen.

And dipping is an art. One that I have not remotely perfected.

Kelly said...

Mom and I made the mistake of making 12 dozen peppermint patties for the very same cookie exchange. 10pm the night before, 150 patties needing to be dipped. The first 15 took me :15 min. and one jar of dipping chocolate. Looking around the kitchen, I knew 'this wasn't going to end well.' So, well, you probably saw (and ate) the finished project. Conclusion? I HATE dipping!

t5winmom said...

Hi, I'm Annie's friend, blog-surfing. As a former Pampered Chef lady, let me give you a trick - DO NOT DIP. It's a waste of time, & expensive to use up so much precious chocolate on any mouth other than your own! So here goes:

In the microwave, melt a bag o' chocolate chips w/ a tsp of shortening. Pour melty-goodness into a ziploc baggie. Seal, then twist it up like a fancy pastry bag. Cut off the tip & DRIZZLE the chocolate over the cookies.

GOOD LICK... I mean, LUCK!

Annie Valentine said...

There's no doubt about it, you are a good writer.

You must get it from Dad.

scrapintina said...

I love reading your blog. I so needed the fun tonight. I hope you remember that you ARE good at ANYTHING you set your mind to do. You are an incredible lady and ALWAYS have been one I admire. Hugs, Tina