There was an error in this gadget

Monday, May 4, 2009

In Which I Almost Craft, and Other Stories

I had a crazy, crazy weekend. It was so crazy, I was actually thrilled for Monday. Is that pathetic or what? And the worst part about a crazy weekend (for our purposes the "weekend" started on Thursday when I got called to work - I know it makes no sense - work with me here) is the state of the house by seven o'clock Sunday night.

Can I say seven million loads of laundry?

Seriously. Between Thursday morning and Sunday afternoon, I spent approximately nine hours and three minutes at my house. The three minutes were on Friday after work when I SPRINTED in to collect piano books before dashing off to my kids lessons. I didn't cross my threshold again until 2:30 AM Saturday morning. Why, you ask? Because I was decorating for a wedding/wedding reception. And when I say "decorating" I mean that in the broadest sense of the word.

As in I personally arranged all the flowers for the wedding because as of TEN O'CLOCK THE NIGHT BEFORE NO ONE ELSE HAD DONE IT.

I still can't decide which part of the above sentence is more shocking - that the flowers still needed arranging (for fourteen centerpieces and twelve church pews), or that I did the arranging.

As in me. Yours truly. Who hates and detests all things craft. (Although, I still say flower arranging isn't really a craft...)

In my defense, however, it had to be done. And as all my piano students know, when the impossible needs to be done what do you ask yourself? "If I were stranded on an island and the only way off was to figure this out, could I do it, and how long would it take me?" (Have I mentioned how much my piano students love it when I ask them this question?)

So I did it. One more successful island escape proving the impossible can be accomplished with the right degree of desperation. And just in case curious minds want to know, my flowers rocked. Even my mother was impressed, and she's a Terry. (The significance being that the Terry women {of which I am technically one of, since my grandmother was, in fact, a Terry} have a knack with flowers. Legend has it that all they need to do is touch a bouquet and it becomes pleasing to the eye, and fascinating to behold. For obvious reasons I have never claimed this gene. But I'm claiming now).

Anyway, it was a long night. And can I just say that while marriage may be of the Lord, weddings are (without question) of the Devil? Seriously. Can we say irritating-tradition-designed-to-distract-the-bride-from-what's-really-important-and-cause-serious-depression-stress-anxiety-and-unChristlike-feelings-moments-before-walking-down-the-isle? As a successful elopee, I would just like to say that no one should have to worry about refreshment/flowers/tuxes/etc. while pledging themselves to another, and entering a solemn covenant - whether it be the till-death-do-you-part or time-and-all-eternity variety. I'm all for the grand reception - just not hours after the grand commitment. One tends to overshadow the other, if you know what I mean.

(Disclaimer: Note the use of the word "tends". I am not claiming that it is impossible to achieve a peaceful and perfect wedding/reception. I'm just saying it's pretty rare. Please do not be offended if you're combo deal was the greatest no-regrets thing you ever did, and believe me when I say I'm happy for you. Meanwhile, I will begin indoctrinating Miss Two with the concept of reception-two-weeks-later.)

But they were married AND are happy - despite some rather stressed out moments - and all's well that ends well. And I got six loads of laundry done today - despite being gone for five hours - so I believe I can now face tomorrow and all the other thankless tasks left to be done around here.

Housework stinks. Can I get an Amen???

28 comments:

Melissa Bastow said...

Amen.

I surely hope you didn't have to use a gluegun in any of your arranging. I'm sure they looked lovely and grandiose.

I had a reception the evening of my wedding - I was so stressed I didn't even eat a piece of cake - - it could have totally tasted like dirt clods, and I would have been none the wiser. So sorry, to anyone who attended my reception and ate cake that may or may not have tasted like dirt. A two week break between the events is really the way to go.

Kristin said...

You are so one with nature, the floral arranging is no surprise, you can make frog spawn look lovely. Well as lovely as possible for frog spawn. Really, the true congratulations are for the laundry. After a night like that I'd be saying - "dig out your least smelly clothes to wear tomorrow, the laundry is on hold." 6 loads - impressive.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Amen.
And might I recommend to anyone planning a future wedding... I had my reception the night before my wedding. Totally untraditional, but awesome. Wedding day was all about a family lunch, the temple, and that's it. Afterwards, a gathering with close family to open gifts, and on our way. It was AWESOME.

Rocketgirl said...

Pffff, weddings suck. I love married life but I was FORCED into marriage by my husband and thereby my wedding day was full of drama and angst. So anyone who has a peaceful day where they got to plan out a happy day instantly gets me making a mental image in my head bashing their teeth in. Le sigh... I never do things the easy way. But BEING married? MUCH better!

I say you deserve a parade and some cake. I'm feeling the same way as you, although I actually got to sleep this weekend:)

Stephanie said...

Amen. I didn't stress at my wedding planning. My mom wanted it a certain way and I didn't care (I just wanted to marry Kevin and wasn't concerned about whether the cake frosting was beaded or laced...) and she pretty much arranged most of it. She's a big time control person. I hope my daughter is more involved in her own wedding, because I want to just go and enjoy it all. :)
I'd love to see your flower arranging skills. I took a floral arrangement class at Ricks and it was so fun. Didn't help me much though.

Robyn said...

HUGE AMEN! I hate housework. I would much rather do outside work than the loads of laundry and bathroom scrubbing. Good job with the flowers.

Dominic said...

Housework, Amen.

Weddings... there is something to be said for tradition. The biggest issue is that the traditions we choose to follow come from the Victorian Era, rather than the simpler (but more ribald) medieval times, or the simpler (but less elegant) frontier days.

jane said...

holy schmoly girl, you know how to pack it all in! so, the lack of pictures {of flowers} that is because you lack a digital camera or because you lack the computer? I have a spare digital camera, I would love to send you...tell me which it is...

Shelley said...

The Amen comes first!!
I COMPLETELY agree with your analysis on receptions. WAY too much fuss. I could go on and on with examples. But the best one I ever saw, after many years of no weddings for my Mom and Dad, my brother and I decided to get hitched right at the same time. His wedding was 3 weeks before mine. His bride set THE best example EVER! (I am passionate about this as well) The ladies doind her cake screwed up; her cake truly looked like the leaning tower of Piza' (ah crap I don't remember how to spell it, so run with me). She just looked at it chuckled and moved on. I don't even think she remembers much of it, because it was so unimportant. Fantastic!

Machen family said...

As a fellow non-crafter I was worried that you were going to be forced to make some awful centerpieces for the tables. You might have a new calling as a floral arranger! A kid that I grew up with in the same ward, that noone thought had any ambition in life or talent, moved to LA to be a model, became a floral apprentice and now is the "artistic director" of the Four Seasons Hotel in Paris France. Where they are paying him an insane amount of money to design flowers arrangments! It's insane! He's living my dream DANG IT and he didn't even graduate from SEMINARY!! WHERE'S THE JUSTICE?

Barbaloot said...

So you're saying you'd like to do the flowers at my wedding? :)

I'm the only girl, and my mom has been planning my reception for years!! I don't really care how it goes...as long as I have chocolate covered strawberries so I plan on relaxing for mine:)

Natalie said...

I did hear that the flowers turned out amazing. I did the reception directly following the wedding thing (like 15 minutes later in the same building.) However, I had a severe kidney infection and was running a fever of 104 and I can't remember much of it at all. The lesson there? Don't waste a ton of time and money preparing for something because you have no idea what unexpected event will arise and skew all of your plans anyway. Simple is safe.

Anjeny said...

A gigantic AMEN on the housework!

I am very impressed with your accomplishment on the floral arrangement and I esp. love the legend about your family gene.

I didn't have those huge wedding/and reception thing so my wedding day was the most fun..lol..so I agree with you on that one.

With three daughters and a very stingy hubby when it comes to money, I am not too looking forward to their wedding receptions..."Father of the Bride" always comes to mind when I think about my daughters weddings.

Oh and about the floral arranging not being a craft...I disagree with you on that one..it is quite the work of art. I've seen how the they are arranged and believe me, even a crafty person like cannot pull that off even if I have all the help in the world...so you do have a crafty talent.

Anjeny said...

oops, I meant to say "me" on the last sentence

The Crash Test Dummy said...

AMEN! And Ha hahahahha YES, wedding are of the devil. Good one, girl!

I'm impressed with your impromptu flower arranging. I hope you're around when I need a helping hand. ;)

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Crash, there you are again, just ahead of me.

And I was going to say the Devil comment was my favorite part. Way to steal my thunder. JK

This is a very astute post and so true on so many levels.

Good luck with miss two, hope you can brain wash her effectively.

That Girl in Brazil said...

Amen and amen.

And I will never ever let my mother read this post. She's a wedding decorator and would actually have a stroke to hear that the flowers were neglected til the last minute.

(Any chance for a picture on your semi-craftiness?!)

Jen said...

Seriously regretting that I didn't take a single picture of my flowers. I wonder if anyone else did?

Kelly said...

Too funny Jen, but your amazing ability to make things happened pulled through. Although I have to say, I am almost more impressed with the amount of laundry you have done in such a small amount of time. That's my girl.

Grandma Blog said...

I am energized by just reading what you accomplished. If you can figure out a way to bottle some of your energy I would like to buy a bottle.

T said...

Amen - and Hallelujah too...

and if that's just WAY too sacreligious (which apparently I can't spell!) then I'll just agree in a more gentle and worldly way... You go girl!

Sue Q said...

I'll raise your Amen to Two Hallelujahs and a Praise the Lord!

Which seems like a strange thing for me to say, since my occupation requires me to love weddings, but the awful truth is, while I love wedding dresses, I wish I could work on them without having to deal with the person wearing the dress, or their mothers.

I know. It's a vicious circle. And anyone that gets roped into the circus that becomes a reception DEFINITELY should get their own parade. Or a national holiday named after them. One of the two, at least.

Natalie said...

And what happened after you expended so much energy? You came down with the flu. I'm taking that as a sign that I should be lazy today (for my health.)

Kendra said...

I'm impressed, Jen! And then you came down with the flu? Horrible irony...I'm with Natalie on this one: lazy days, here I come! (Of course after the laundry's done, the dinner's made, the floor's been swept 5 times, the dog's been fed, I pick Kamrin up from preschool, I feed Jaxon, I wipe Jillie's runny nose...crap).

Claire said...

You can get more than an AMEN. I'll give you a HOLLA. Housework DOES stink. As do weddings. I was at one on Sunday night (yes - sunday night... so weird) and I disliked it intensely. Ok - you know i actually mean 'hate', when I say dislike...

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

WE have a lot in common... I hate all things crafty cause I'm no good at them... and I don't like weddings, I think they are of the devil also!!!

R Max said...

Amen.

I am craftily challenged. And I'd like to stay this way. I like it.

LisAway said...

You eloped!?! I need more installments of your story, lady!!

(and also congrats on the flower arranging and Amen etc. etc.)