Getting My Just Desserts

This weekend was our ward (church) Christmas party. I was in charge. Somehow I managed to live through it. And I haven't looked at a single blog in three days, not to mention the laundry, dishes, or my children. Sometimes I envy people who get paid by their churches to do this sort of thing - not saying I think we should, just saying wouldn't that be nice.

After three days of non-stop running around, phone-calling, tablecloth-dilemmas, decorating, stressed-out-runs-to-the-store, and general feelings of panic and coordination-anxiety, I would just like to say that it all came together, and was a smashing success.

But my feet still hurt.

And next week I'm going to the other ward's Christmas party, I'm not bringing my children, and I'm going to spend the whole time eating, socializing (since it's not like I don't know most of them anyway) and enjoying myself. And secretly crying because their menu has mashed potatoes instead of scalloped/funeral/yummy style like we did, and I didn't get any, and can't seem to get over it. I was very depressed when I cornered their activities person in the hall today (skipping the last bit of sacrament meeting to do so) and found out this sad, sad, piece of news. I don't even like mashed potatoes - except with cottage cheese, which they obviously won't have. Maybe I should bring my own? Hmmm, a possibility...

But then again, I may come out on top after all, because they're having home-made desserts (we did Costco pies), so there's no telling what kind of yummy things people might show up with.

So next Saturday night, I have a date. With myself - and the entire First Ward. And my husband if I can talk him into coming. (Yeah, the odds on that one aren't so good, so I suggest holding off on the bets). And now, just to prove how exhausted I really am after this whole ordeal, I am going to bed. BEFORE ten-thirty. Without reading a SINGLE blog (although it's extremely tempting). And I can honestly say, I don't remember the last time this combination of early-bedtime/non-blog-reading happened. So have a great week, and send lots of little mind-messages to the ladies in the First Ward to make really delicious desserts, because I deserve it.

(And I'm definitely considering the cottage cheese option - do you think I could keep it hidden in my purse? I'd stuff it down my bra, but somehow I think that might not work so well... Wish me luck!!)

Another Reason Why I Shouldn't Be In Charge

I am responsible for giving all the children (and probably some of the adults in my ward) the world's worst sugar high. Last night was our ward's Potluck/Harvest Party, and as I've mentioned previously, the powers that be have decided I need to enhance my party planning skills, and I am now the ward Activities Person. As you can see, I am so out of the activity-planning loop, I'm not even sure what the actual title of my calling is.

I just know that several times a year I must plan, carry out, and clean up huge group activities.

And that it is not my forte, because my brain isn't organized, non-procrastinating, or detail oriented. Yes, we remembered the silverware and plates - but of course we (I) forgot the cups. And the napkins. Apparently, I just wouldn't be me if I didn't forget one of these important items. Oh well, right?

I'd almost rather go back to my previous job of being Primary President. If I hadn't determined that weekly headaches were worse than (pre-activity) headaches lasting a week, it would be a toss-up.

The Harvest Party was supposed to be all about food. Healthy food, to be exact. The kind people grew in their gardens, the wholesome stuff they canned, the good and nourishing things they brought to eat at the potluck, etc. The food theme shouldn't surprise anyone, because if you know anything about me at all, you know that my life practically revolves around food. I love food.

As great as it is, however, bringing food to display and eating food for dinner didn't seem like enough of an activity. What about the children? Surely they need some games, right? And prizes? Looking back, it's clear to see how my thought process totally revolved around food. Not just any food, but sweet, sugary food.

There was the "Candy Walk." Exactly what it sounds like - just walk around and get candy kids, we're giving it out for free. Not the cheap stuff either - I have "good" candy connections to put in charge of events like this. The candy in our Candy Walk was stuff like mini Almond Joy, KitKat, BabyRuth - the Costco goodie bag, if you're familiar with it.

Then there was the donut eating contest. Donuts on a string for all the little children who had just finished gorging themselves at the dessert table. That's right kiddies, just cram that donut in your mouth, and before you have a chance to swallow, we'll shove another piece of candy at you just for playing!

Pin the tie on the Bishop? The Bean Bag Toss? Candy as both victory AND consolation prize at each activity!!!

And as if that weren't enough, a sprinkling of the candy corn mix with the little candy corn pumpkins on all the tables.

Oh yes. And the good people bringing their produce and canning for display deserve a reward. How about chocolate? That's right, all those little children, with all those little sugar-bug infested teeth, got a pile of big old chocolate coins (the cool ones that actually look like fifty cent pieces) for bringing an entry.

Gee, I wonder why the dear primary children were running around screaming like Banshees on the world's biggest sugar high while we attempted to clean up around them? I really and truly believe that only Halloween itself can possibly compete with my Harvest Party when it comes to sweets and sugar. When I realized just how much sugar was flowing (some children - like mine - won candy in the Candy Walk like twenty times), even I was a little taken aback.

Will I be liable for dental bills? What about parents who lost their minds trying to put sugar-loaded children to bed when the activity finally ended at 8:30? Will they send me anonymous, threatening mail? (Even if they did, I'd still know who they were. I was passing out the candy, remember?)

I have to say, I'm feeling a little responsible here. Where was the message of Health? "Here children, look at these nice vegetables you grew in your garden. I'll bet you would all just love some zucchini, but unfortunately the actual focus of this activity happens to be sugar. And more sugar. Sister S. is cranking out powdered sugar covered elephant ears in the kitchen RIGHT NOW, so run along and help yourself."

Should I feel guilty here? Am I a horrible person who is subconsciously passing my love of sweet, fattening food at Harvesty-Fair-type events on to innocent children?

On second thought, maybe I should do it again next time. If those powers that be decide my sugary-food-one-track-mind is too harmful for the children of the ward, they might feel compelled to release me and put me in the library where I can't possibly pose a food-threat to anyone.

Hey, it could happen. I believe in miracles - it's part of my religion.

For now, however, I suppose I should just act like nothing happened. Sugar? What sugar? I have no recollection of sugar, sweets, or a Harvest Party, so don't try pinning your kids cavities on me! If I can just hold out for twenty-six more days, Halloween will come along and erase all memory of my Loads-of-Sugar-For-the-Children Harvest Party.

Any guesses on why I love Halloween?

To All My Personal Life Savers

My computer went cuckoo on me the other night. Is it fixed yet? Well, no. I'm just having faith that I can get this whole post off before it decides to shut me down and erase everything. I called the HP support place Thursday night, and the guy sounded very encouraging just before we got cut off. Unfortunately, he never called me back, and we were gone over the weekend. Hold your breath, because when I'm done with this I'm giving it another try.

My weekend? Ward camp out, hosted by yours truly - the ward activities person. I would like to preface this by saying that being an activities planner is not really in my DNA. I am the type who plans a meal and forgets the silverware and condiments (could I ever remember the condiments?) In other words, I am NOT a detail person. By any stretch of the imagination.

This is possibly the reason I keep getting put into positions requiring extensive planning. Someone up there is hoping that at some point I will get things together and remember the little things that make things work - like tables for people to cook/serve on, for instance. (never fear, I remembered them that morning and managed to throw some together. See? I am getting better! The only thing we had to leave and get was the ice!). Is it working? As noted, there have been minimal improvements. Like the fact that I now recognise that I will undoubtedly forget lots of little essentials. Like bringing something to secure the signs to the tree/post/whatever. (Again, saved from repeating this blunder by assigning the job to someone else.)

This is really my secret strategy. So secret that I always inform everyone involved that if I do not have an AMAZING detailed/organizing/list-making/personal-assisting-type individual working closely (and I mean VERY closely) with me, the whole thing will come crashing down around all our heads. So far it's worked, and I would just like to thank Kathy, Magen, Joyce (who will probably never read this blog, but knows how lost I would have been without her) and every one else who has ever uttered those fateful words, "Um, have you thought about the..." for saving me from certain disaster.

After all, isn't this the way things are supposed to work? It's kind of like marriage. I have my strengths - somewhere, I'm sure - and I have someone else around to make up for my weaknesses. I'm not convinced (at all) that in this planning department they wouldn't be just as well off without me, but hey - they sure make me look great! And that's what this blog is essentially about. I would like to publicly thank them and tell the world that nothing I am in charge of would ever be successful without that amazing person standing right beside/behind/in front, of me. Close, I always keep them close. If they stray too far you will hear me frantically yelling "Kathy? Kathy?! WHERE ARE YOU KATHY! I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Now if I could just get this kind of help at home, I'm sure my kids would eat more vegetables, and my husband would always have clean socks. And I would never forget orthodontist appointments - or anything else for that matter. So thank you, thank you, thank you, to all of you who have helped me avoid repeated disasters - you know who you are, and you know just how truly lost I would be without you!